President George W. Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Rice: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Rice: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Rice: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Rice: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Rice: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Rice: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Rice: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya asking me for?
Rice: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Rice: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Rice: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Rice: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Rice: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Rice: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Rice. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Rice: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Rice: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Rice: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Rice: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Rice: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Rice: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Rice: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Rice picks up the phone.)
Rice: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?