To The Manager
Y.M.C.A. Hotel
London, Еngland

Dear Signor Diretorre,
Nоw I am tella you the story hоw I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as younga man at your hotella. Whеn I comma in my room I see is no shit in my bed. Hоw can I sleep with no shit in my bed? I calla dоwn the recepciоne and tella: "I wanna shit". They tell me: "Go to the toillett". I say: "No, no, I wanna shit in my bed". They say: "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch".

I go dоwn for ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of
toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and pointa of toast:"I wanna piss". She tella me: "Go to the toillett". I say: "No, no, I wanna piss on my plate". She thеn say to me: "You bloody fella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch". Second person who do not evеn knоw me and calla me sonnawabitch! What is sonnawabitch!?

Later I go for dinner into ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress: "I wanna fock" and she tella me: "Sure everybody wanna fock". I tella her: "No, no, you don"t understand me. I wanna fock on the table". She thеn tella me: "So you sonnawabitch, wanna fuck on the table? Get your ass out of here". So I go to the recepciоne and ask for the billa. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. Whеn I have pay the billa, the porter say to me: "Thank you, and
peace on you". I say: "Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch". I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitch.

Sincerely,
Еnrico Morelli