| Journals.ru » Poor Yorick » Второе внимание | |
| The Cruise. Timothy Levitch |
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Civilization is the molestation of everything we ever could be. A giant repression melting into suppression so that you never say what you mean. Civilization is breathing down our necks, splitting us apart. We are wreckage with beating hearts. *** Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Timothy. Montanez is downstairs. If you need advice or directions on New York City, on style, on how to appear as a debonair individual despite interior feelings of despair, let us know. Please remember that tourism is a service trade and tips are always appreciated. And we mean that. We will remember you. *** And there's so many prisoners, inmates. There's so many people to be judged. They don't even have time to consider you as a human being. You're filed through as an assembly line. And in some ways it made me think of the fact that in terms of molecular biology, we have the same infrastructure as plants. So this entire notion of individuality is a delusion anyway. It's a direful delusion. There is no real individuality except for that which we project. But sitting in the cell block I realized that the pursuit of that so-called individuality is everything I believe in. The fullest pursuit of those possibilities of that quote, unquote "Individuality," even if it is an absolute failure, is the most beautiful failure I can think of. I don't care if it's a delusion. I don't care if we have the same infrastructure as plants. I want to be the plant that grows the highest. I want to be the beanstalk. I want to be the flower that smells the most profusely, that veers most drastically towards the sunlight. *** I am Cruising currently right now. I am Cruising because I have dedicated myself to all that is creative and destructive in my life right now. And I'm equally in love with every aspect of my life, and all of the ingredients that have caused me turmoil, and all of the ingredients that have caused me glory. I am the living whispered mourning in the Roman General's ear, "Glory is fleeting." And in that verb, that active verb "fleeting," there I live. There I reside in this moment. I've dedicated myself to the idiom, "I don't know." I am in love with the frantic chaos of this limitless universe. |
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