11:14 14-06-2005 кол-во сокрщ. превыс. доп. норму. Пжлт сокр. кол-во сокрщ.
текстик на перевод дали....вчитайтесь в сокращения....
LOOKING TO THE FUTURE
As a result of the constant pressure to control costs, we are forced to reduce our current number of employees.
Older employees will be asked to go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of our younger people who represent the company's future.
Therefore, a program to phase out our older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, is being initiated immediately. This program will be known as Retire Aged Personnel Early (RAPE).
Employees who have been placed on the potential RAPE list can request a review of their employment records before the actual RAPE occurs. This phase of the new policy is called Survey Capabilities of Retiring Early Workers (SCREW).
An employee who is scheduled for RAPE, whether or not he has requested a SCREW, may request a review of his case by upper management. This plan is called the Study by Higher Authority For Termination (SHAFT). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee can be SCREWED twice, with or without request SHAFTED as many times as the Company finds necessary, but may only be RAPED once.
If an employee follows the above procedures, he or she will be entitled to receive Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance (HERPES) or Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payments (CLAP) following the RAPE, unless he or she already has Additional Income from Dependents or Spouse (AIDS). Since HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who receives HERPES or CLAP as a result of his RAPE will no longer be eligible to be SCREWED or SHAFTED.
Management wishes to assure those younger employees who are not eligible to be RAPED, SCREWED, or SHAFTED that the Company has not forgotten them. To ensure the motivation and morale of our younger employees, the Company has also instituted a new program called Special High Intensity Training (SHIT), discussed in a previous memo (reference memo "Collage 98," July 17, 1995). The Company takes great pride in the amount of SHIT our employees will receive. We are committed to giving more SHIT to the employees than any other Company. Each employee should contact his supervisor immediately. All supervisors have been trained to make sure the employees receives all the SHIT they can possibly handle.
Я понять не могу, это ПРИКОЛ??????
UPDATE:
fffff.......kkkkkk!!!!!
долго же я соображала.....
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